I enjoyed my first class, taking ceramics at a local community college, but... Something bad happened when I tried Medical Terminology.. I broke very early, the class was for 3 hours and I could barely make it halfway..
And now I'm in crisis mode, I don't even know what I should do for a job or if I have enough genuine talent to pursue classes in art to better my talents.. I just feel like I'm a giant ball of hatred for myself, scared feelings that I can't find a job at all that I'll be good at and love doing..
I don't know what to do... And I feel like I'm letting my parents down by not knowing what I want to do for a job, which is only to support myself in monetary terms.. It just makes me very angry that the world is like this, and I want it to change that we didn't have to work a job we don't like to support a family and just ourselves, that we can't do what we love every day to support our families.. I saw a tumblr post that explained my feelings perfectly, I'm not going to do anything relating to it, I have my lover now, I'm not going to give up yet but..
The post said 'Is life even worth living when the world is so unfair?' I know adults say that you just have to survive against what is unfair but.. The worlds practically engineered to keep us on the bottom, and unable to improve when college costs so much and everything else in the world.. I want the world to change so badly.. Everyone should be able to do what they love without being ashamed or worried it won't make them enough..